Drew and I typically don’t allow ourselves to get overstretched. Typically. This week was an exception. Continue reading
We have been asking for the prayers/thoughts/fornits/happy foster baby juju/supportive sweat from our friends and family in blog-land and beyond to prepare us for our upcoming court date. This is our ‘six month review’ courtdate. As far as we know, there should be no surprises, but we are nervous nonetheless. It seems like the lawyers and the workers don’t think about a court date until the week of when they see it in their dayplanner, so it’s possible there is new information and we haven’t heard yet. We also should have a phone staffing before the day in court. If there is any new info we should hear it at the staffing and then the staffing info will be reported to the judge during court. Best case scenario is that there are no surprises, still no family members making contact with CPS, and we continue on our merry way until the next court date. If family members have made contact and/or are present at court, then most likely we would setup scheduled visits with them. And if they were interested in kinship placement, then they would start the process of homestudy and training for that. That would be worst case scenario. Anyway, as far as we know that is NOT the path, it’s just our fear that that is in the works and we don’t know it.
We are nervous and we do feel like Cooper belongs with us. It’s number one rule of foster care that you don’t feel or say that, but we can’t help it. He has a huge network of peeps with us. I know you can have a good life with a single parent (um, Gilmore Girls) but you have to have a network (Stars Hallow) and with us he had two moms and a network! There are many days when he sees all four grandparents – and none of them are like Emily Gilmore. In short, we want to provide Cooper with Stars Hallow and two Loreleis, is that too much to ask?
I remember thinking a few months ago, “please just let us have Cooper through Halloween, even if we don’t get to keep him, let us have Halloween.” Now I’m getting selfish and thinking, “please just let us have Cooper through Christmas, even if we don’t get to keep him, let us have Christmas.” I shared that thought with one of my friends who replied, “My prayers have never been for Halloween or Christmas and I won’t be starting now. Go with forever!” We hope we will.
After the “six month review” court
We are breathing better. The next court date is now scheduled, in four months time, that should be the termination of the parents’ rights. Then, starting then, there’s an additional 90 days for any other relative to come forward for a kinship placement. We are happy that there was no new news and no surprise visitors at court. There was a lady we were worried could be grandma. Turns out she wasn’t, thanks goodness! I think we all peed a little when we saw her (me, Drew, and our agency worker). For those of you who haven’t been through this process, it is torture! Despite the cute pictures on the walls and therapy dog walking around, no one at court is happy. Even if you aren’t crying, you feel like it! I was so happy when the therapy dog came up to us…I was thinking, “Can he just stay here with us?” His name was Samson.
When we were driving home I said to Drew, “could that be any worse? Maybe if they were hitting us with stuff at the same time?” Drew said, “I think it would almost be better if they were hitting us with stuff.”
What is it about blogging that drives you to share your inadequacies and struggles for the public at large to read? Catharsis? Something like that? In our last “Laugh at/with us edition” I detailed our ridiculous stroller shopping that resulted in two strollers that were at the time too large for our tiny foster squishy. Luckily now, he’s grown into both of them and we have gotten loads of use out of them. Now, I’m ready to air another shopping fail: Cooper’s hair care.
Before Cooper was placed with us, we knew enough to know that we knew nothing about black hair care. And we knew enough to know that we should. We bought a couple books, we read some articles. We wanted to show our foster care agency that we were committed to black hair care if they were to entrust us with a kiddo who would necessitate execution of those skills. And they did entrust us with Cooper – and we still knew nothing!
We were not too proud to ask lots of questions, as long as it was appropriate and not completely out of the scope of the conversation, we asked every African American person we knew for hair care tips. Seriously, like a lot of people. And the only common thread was that every single person told us something different. How to wash, how to moisturize, comb or not comb, eh. We believed that each person we talked to held the magic formula and immediately we trotted off to buy whatever products each individual recommended. And that hair pilgrimage led us to here. Plus a couple different types of oil – which I didn’t include in the picture because they aren’t exclusively hair care.
We still don’t really know what we are doing – but what we are doing we do with confidence. We’ve got hair product swagger. We condition like champs and comb occasionally and other than on days where he rubs mashed potatoes or mandarin oranges directly into his hair follicles – Little Coop looks pretty dang good! Especially in a hat!